Have a Question? (Hey that’s a question) aSK SK.

If you don't see your question addressed here submit it in the box below and I'll do my best to get your query straightened out.


How tall are you?

That's an interesting question.  Really how tall are any of us?  Who's  to say what the standard is?  We could measure height in inches, hands, parsecs.  To attempt to define one in such pedestrian terms would most certainly be the pinnacle of impudence.  I'm 6'-3".

What would you like for dinner?

It feels like an Arby's night.

What can I get for my kidney on the open market?

 You could try enzyme inhibitors or maybe statins.

Do David Duke and Louis Farrakhan dream in color?

This question is addressed in David Duke's Autobiography: "Don't shoot the Messenger, shoot that black fella" where he writes of discovering that he dreams in black and white because during one dream he was eating lime jello but didn't know it was lime until he tasted it.  It is Believed that Louis Farrakhan doesn't sleep at all but rather rejuvenates by alternately resting his mandible eyelids for up to 10 hours at a time.

How do I get my name off of the Green Party mailing list?

Unfortunately, the only way to get out of anything with the Green Party is to be “jumped” out…or become a consumer protection advocate and run for president.

Is Walt Disney's head really frozen?

This is a myth that began when Disney was still alive.  The rumor originated during a trip to 7-11 where Walt had purchased a Slurpee.

Why is my stool green?

Because it matches your green table… or you just had a shamrock shake.

What do women really want?

Tupperware and Uughs.

Did you know that John Denver’s real name was Henry Deutshendorf, Jr?

Henry Deutshendorf Jr. was his slave name.  I applaud the man for his audacity.

How many months salary should I spend on an engagement ring?

You can get  titanium rings on etsy for a couple hundred bucks.  That's just a few extra shifts at Pep Boys while your betrothed gets ideas for the reception from "reading" about Kim and Kanye.

I keep scrubbing and scrubbing but the blood won’t come off. 

I know right?  The first thing to do is to scrub with toilet cleanser under cold water. Then take table salt and pour it on. Let it set about 20 minutes. Finally wash with Oxyclean powder.  I learned this trick back in Catholic school.

What's my Real Age?

Start with the year you were born.  Then subtract that year from the current year.  Take that number and multiply it by the number of friends you've lost inviting them to play "Farmville".  Take that product and plot it along the X axis of your diagram outlining the pictures you've taken of the cream in your latte.  Take the ratio of your selfies to othersies and divide by your downloaded cat videos.  The final result should be as meaningless as the question.

I've forgotten number 31 on the list of ways to leave your lover.

Get an order to restrain Blaine.

I hate you so much. Follow up question:  Will you be taking your usual route home tonight?

If you're flirting let me just say, I'm picking up what you're putting down ;)

Who would win in a fight, Darth Maul or Darth Acid-in-your-face?

While Maul has the advantage with his athletics and skill in both use of the force and a double-bladed light saber, his opponent has acid.  The round goes to:  Darth Acid-in-your-face.  But how would he match up with Darth Pillow Suffocacious?

Isn't Holden Caulfield just a self-indulgent punk?

Yes. Yes he is.

Is Daryl Hannah a man?  I mean she’s got an Adam’s apple and her name’s Daryl?

Technically Daryl Hannah is neither male nor female but of a species that has the ability to produce young while possessing neither set of procreative organs at the same time having little to no appeal to creatures of any sex.

How many attempts should I make before I give up on Das Boot?

Reply hidden due to low rating.

In Form 706NA, how do I claim a pro-rata unified credit pursuant to a treaty?

As light moves through the atmosphere, most of the longer wavelengths pass straight through. Little of the red, orange and yellow light is affected by the air.  However, much of the shorter wavelength light is absorbed by the gas molecules. The absorbed blue light is then radiated in different directions. It gets scattered all around the sky. Whichever direction you look, some of this scattered blue light reaches you. Since you see the blue light from everywhere overhead, the sky looks blue.  Now go to sleep.


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